can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
