Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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