Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize