i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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