Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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