We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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