D3 body, D1 cock
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
