i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Operation Purity has been aborted
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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