Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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