You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
