Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
