i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
