Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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