my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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