If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
