New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
