maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
