I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
