I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
