Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
