Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i drank out of a bidet.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Randomize
