well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
