my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
