went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
