I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
His hands were made for my vagina.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
My life is pants optional.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
