next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
