I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
