it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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