Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i think i have herpe
just one?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
