I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
