no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
