i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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