Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
