I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
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