I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
