he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
