I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
