3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
