just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
