I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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