Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
