trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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