Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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