You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
