oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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