So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
