The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
