Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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