So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
