She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
