TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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