Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Randomize
